Something weird is happening inside my head and I don’t know what it is…
For many years I have travelled on planes, like literally all the bloody time! Now being honest I don’t really like flying but have always seen it as a necessary evil (now don’t get me wrong I love planes – like really love planes). As a passenger though I always have a level of nervousness but have had coping mechanisms to just get me through it – be that chatting throughout the flights or using the calm app.
But lately I seem to be really avoiding flying, like to the point it is becoming a problem and I don’t know why? I have had a few what I would call “bumpy” flights where there has been an experience of turbulence but this has been limited and mostly on small planes – there is a reason you experience it on small planes more and that’s to do with physics… but lets not go into a lesson on aviation aerodynamics!
Having had a few wet and windy days on the island and having spent all last weekend looking at property and short listing and contacting agents in Spain and Portugal I decided to go and take a trip to look at a few houses in particular in Tarragona.
Now I did look at flights off the island but decided that the wind was too bad and also the flights were too expensive so took the ferry to Liverpool which meant a night in Liverpool to get the flight to Reus. But something weird happened, I got to the airport and could not get onboard the flight! My brain had assessed the weather conditions and decided that 2.5 hours in the sky when there are cumulous cloud formations above was a bad idea… So instead I sat in the airport for the day trying to get enough courage to get on the next flight but didn’t and instead spent another night in Liverpool!
It is difficult to explain, I have been on well over 1000 flights but something is causing me to second guess and over worry… The stress of even thinking about it makes me somewhat on edge as well.
I had a call earlier today at work and was a bit rude to some staff as they were not playing ball, but I don’t think it was specifically the call I think I was projecting other things?
Maybe there is a bit too much pressure in Evil Corp at the moment? Or I am putting myself under too much pressure forcing myself to look at property in a warm country? Maybe it is the Isle of Man decision – which I still have not made. It is a level of crazy to say the least!
Me and Nick have been trying to unpick this irrational fear for a few sessions and I thought I had kinda got a grip of it, but clearly I haven’t.
Well here is hoping I get on the plane tomorrow!