Post the traumatic break up with my ex I did not know what to do with myself, but absolutely hated where I lived in KEW in Birmingham, and hated Birmingham as I was living and working with my own little company in the same place. I blamed the breakup on myself as my environment I had created I could not escape, and despite asking my ex if we could go somewhere else and escape that never came.
Now there was no longer a need to stay in Birmingham, so my brain was frantically trying to decide the next step… I knew I hated where I was but did not know what the next step forward was? I had done a fair bit of research on the Isle of Man as we had planned to move there (which is another story) but things did not work out that way, but there was also moving back to my empty place in Barnsley or going back to operation “Portugal” which I had started just before meeting my ex.
I decided that I would go and try Barnsley because the place was empty and still furnished, so I filled the car with some belongings and headed there…. Well that did not even last a week… The idea of not having good places for coffee, living in an apartment again with noisy people, it was just not me and I hated Barnsley. So I discussed with mum and dad and whilst they thought I should stay near them I think the prospect of me moving to Portugal scared them more than the prospect of me moving to the Isle of Man.
So I decided before I make a decision I should head out there for a week and just confirm that this is the right move and that I would be happy there on my own, as this is very different from the prospect of going with someone who you can rely and depend on… so off I trotted for a week. During that week I hired a car and enjoyed going to the coffee shops, the sunshine, the walks… it was nice so I started the task of looking for a place to rent…
I ended up renting a lovely 1 bedroom apartment near Groudle Glen overlooking the sea and next to the Manx Electric Railway… and on one damp afternoon I took my brand new motorbike and a backpack from Birmingham and rode to Liverpool – my first time on a motorway on my motorbike which was scary as hell but given the few recent life events this was a walk in the park.
I arrived (after nearly crashing the motorbike) at about 10pm to my new home, met by the landlady who had made me something to eat as she had been messaging me to make sure I was OK on my journey. The place was small but comfortable and still is my home today – it is nice, peaceful and somewhere I can play my piano and just relax.
So it has been almost a year of living here.. what are my thoughts and plans?
- I have met some really good friends here, but not many… a handful… but those friends are really good friends and do lookout for me
- The idea of joining IoM Police (which was a mechanism to meet people quickly) was a bad idea, these are not a good Police force – I will write another entry on this at somepoint but the undertones are racist, homophobic and boys club!
- There is still a level of racism on the island that I have experienced as I am not “Manx” which is a shame, but thankfully isolated
- Most people will go out of their way to help you where they can, and on the whole the islanders are super lovely and I feel safe here
- But the gay scene is none existent… recon has 4 people and grindr has loads of closetted people probably because they are scared to come out – the island is still pretty closetted!
- The government are not so useful, in fact I would say that whilst they are trying they are so behind the times its unbelievable, such as they own the Steam Packet which you have to pray that it runs… and the airport has to shut when the air traffic control guy is off as they don’t have a backup!
- Getting on and off the island is expensive and sometimes hard work – there are limited options to travel so you have to plan your life around it to a degree
- The winters are damn cold – after a cold few weeks in December I decided one night that was it, I went to Tenerife, Gran Canary and Feutaventura travelling for a month!
So will I stay here? I don’t know.. I am still at a junction in my life where I am trying to figure out what the next step is… and I honestly don’t know… I love it here as I just don’t get angry about things, there is nothing to wind me up and its so laid back. On the other hand will I ever meet anyone here as there is no dating scene, there are few gay people and hardly any kink at all! The advice from parents is to move back to the UK, but there is very few places I would want to be… maybe Giggleswick as I loved it there, so nice and peaceful and probably one of the best holidays me and my ex ever had… but then I get hammered for income tax and would have to put up with the nonesence I escaped moving to the island…. maybe the answer is Spain or Portugal. I did take a look yesterday at La Silva DeCampa which is another place me and my ex enjoyed staying… maybe I need to venture further afield and not go back to places that remind me of my ex, but it’s hard as I have fond memories of those places!
I could go back to Welwyn Garden City, I have friends there from T-Mobile… and did enjoy living there but then have to put up with the traffic, politics etc etc… which I moved here to avoid…. or I just buy a house in IoM and enjoy being single? I am sure I will make a decision at some point…..