This week I went on a couple of dates, one guy I had two dates with – and he’s a lovely guy!
So why am I sitting here thinking I still wish I was with my ass hole prick of an ex? (note he’s not an ass hole or a prick, what he did was super wrong but hey… you get my frustration with myself!).
The new guy is 31, super attractive, somewhat kinky, wants to have a quieter life and is very interested in the Isle of Man (and has been there a few times), single, has a dog and loves travel – so on paper this is fantastic… he’s also a plumber and runs his own business… so what the fuck is holding me back! I should be taking a week off and spending it in MK with this guy… or dragging him to Germany with me next week for this work trip and using some of the 1m air miles, yet I am not!
I think it’s because tomorrow would be 7 years since me and my ex first messaged each other so I am thinking about him.
There is no route to ever get back with my ex, and I don’t think I would want to as I am not sure I could ever trust him again – though my parents are worried that if he came back I would crumble and take him back in an instant… mum even asked me not to do it a few nights ago… though she appreciated I will do what I want to do anyway, and urged me to remember how he treated me.
I don’t harbour any bad feeling against him, though I am annoyed we can’t be friends, and I do worry he is ok – even though its not for me to worry about him (so says Nick the shrink). God knows why I want to look after people but I seem to do it a lot.. and like Nick also pointed out… who the fuck is looking after me!
Maybe I should start putting on my profile how much money is in my bank and seeing how many more people want to date me 🙂